Help is a comment away...

Comment or email for help!

2015-09-01T17:01:00.000-07:00

Hello Friends,

Let me first introduce myself. You can call me Mr. Help. I have started this blog as a way to give back to the community. Many friends have told me that I have a gift for giving good advice. So here I am, trying to make a difference in my own small way. Ask me questions on any topic - be it relationships, sports, career, friends or anything else.

You just need to comment to this post, or email me at mrhelp09@gmail.com. I would then answer your question to the best of my knowledge, and publish it on the blog. I will keep your identity anonymous. This way I will protect your identity while helping others with similar problem.

Two basic ground rules:
1. Email me, or add a comment to this post in form of a question.
2. Please DO NOT send me any personal information in your email/comment.

My reward? The fact that I was able to help you is a reward in itself. I will also keep posting some posts here and there (fields like medical, immigration, social etc) which I feel might be useful to you.

Finding people who want to help others

2009-10-06T13:12:00.000-07:00

Question: While I'm in what I would consider an awkward situation (awkward because I've never had to ask for handouts), my situation has to be very common at least nowadays.

How do I go about finding people who want to help others directly as opposed to those same do-gooders donating to a charity? Most businesses in a position to help someone in their community will only give to a not-for-profit organization which in turn does not offer the type of assistance needed.

I need to replace my nice, reliable car that we used to travel back and forth to xyz City for my husband who has Stage IV cancer to get treatments. I have a few thousand dollars (I can't afford to spend more than $3,000 so I don't lose my house) but I can't find a late model Accord or Camry with low miles for that amount. I know that there are people out there who would like to help people like me (people in very bad predicaments through no fault of their own),
but I don't know how to find them?

For my husband's and my kids' sake, I've set aside my pride to seek help but don't know where to go! How do I find people who want to be a blessing to
others?

Answer: Dear friend, you are definitely in a tough and difficult situation. I tried to find people who are willing to help others directly. I did not have any luck in doing that. I have not come across any place where people register to help someone directly. Everytime, it was through a charity or a non-profit organization. Still, this is no reason for giving up. Most people who want to help feel that the money they donate might not make that big a difference in someone's situation. They may be right. But when lot of like minded do-gooders donate to a charity, that charity can help someone with sizable amount of money.

I know you said that the not-for-profits you contacted did not offer the type of assistance needed. I am sorry to hear that. But, I have come across local charities setting up funds for one of their community member who has fallen on hard times. I think you can try talking to some of the organizations in your community and see if they will be willing to do that. There is a good chance that some local company might sponsor the treatment of your husband. You obviously have a very genuine case and I hope that you are able to find the kind of assistance you need.

I also found an article that talks about medical loans. It might be of some help:
http://ezinearticles.com/?Medical-Loans--What-to-do-When-You-Need-Money-for-Medical-Treatment&id=662336

Need volunteer work and Career growth

2009-10-06T12:14:00.000-07:00

Question: I'm on dependent visa H4 since 4 yrs in U.S. I use to work in India as Software consultant but my background is masters in commerce. I'm frustrated here, because I cannot work here due to my visa. I tried for H1 2 times but didn't get due to lottery system. I'm totally depressed as my husband does not teach me driving atleast with that I can be independent taking care of my kids. I got my learners permit too.

I'm always at home doing all chores ,but I'm happy giving good studies to my kid who goes to middle school. But ,somewhere I feel distressed where am I standing? Nowhere related to society,no money,no individuality. For everything I need to depend on my husband. He is not much concerned about my dreams.

I browsed so many sites to do work from home jobs but am afraid of bogus sites. What is the best option. I want to do atleast voluntary work but I have a 15 month daughter too. Where can I keep her. I want an option where I can take my kid along with me. If its worth voluntary work where I can learn related to studies I can pay for day care too for my kid. Please advice me ,I feel I'm having a long gap in my career.Can I do any business on H4 visa? What is the procedure? I appreciate ur advice

Answer: I can understand how frustrating it can be to have a good career and then sit at home. That too when it is not by your chosing. However you can not do any business or even work for someone on H4 visa. You need to have an H1, or L1/L2 to be able to work. I would advice that you keep trying for H1 visa. I know that some people apply for H1 through multiple consulting agencies - this increases the chance to get the lottery. So don't give up on that!

Apart from this, it is saddening to know that your husband is not taking interest in your career. I don't know how much he earns, but you can try to make him realize that two sources of income are always better than one. You also need to stress and vocalize what you want. He should understand that unless you are happy, your family also cannot be happy. The stress and tension will definitely keep showing itself in many ways - ultimately affecting your children too. I
am really surprised that you have been in US for 4 years but don't know driving. Learning to drive should be the first thing you should attempt. I really hope that your husband understands how essential it is!! You are at home with children - there could be any kind of emergency. And as you said it is the first step towards a little independence.

If he doesn't agree with you, make learning to drive as your stand against him. There will be a lot of driving schools near your place. Contact any one of them and start learning to drive! Just go for it! I hope you are able to resolve your issues amicably with your husband, but dont be afraid to take a stand for what you believe in. Sooner or later he will realize that you are right.

As for volunteer work, there are so many good non-profit organizations here. I can think of United Way, ASHA (indian), CCF, Food Programmes etc. In addition many housewives volunteer there time in local hospitals and libraries. All institutions always welcome and appreciate volunteer work. Many of them provide child care services too free of charge. I cannot think of any volunteer work that will directly help you in studies though. But you definitely can enrol yourself in a good university, or community college. The International Student Advisor would be able to guide you in studying part-time/full time, and even with your visa conversion if needed. This can be a good idea too as you can keep yourself occupied in some constructive way and progress your career at the same time. Also if you earn your Masters here, getting an H1 is almost a surety. You will not be in lottery system anymore as there is separate quota for
people who have done in Masters in US.

As for work from home sites, you are right - most of them are bogus. You can check reviews for the sites by googling them. The basic rule is that if the site is asking you for money then it is definitely a fraud. Also look for contact information with a valid phone number and a US address. Be wary of any site without this information.

I wish you good luck!! You have already taken the first step, don't stop here and just keep moving till you realize your dream.

State and federal tax when encashing 401K

2009-09-24T06:33:00.001-07:00

Question: I have been laid off for awhile and will probably need to cash in my 401K. In dealing with that, it appears that they will take out federal taxes, but I am responsible for paying the state taxes. Do you know what percentage the state taxes are? I believe they said the federal was 20 or 25% but they couldn't tell me the state tax information. I know I am loosing a lot of money by cashing in my 401k, but at this point I don't have any other options, to pay my mortgage. I worked for my previous employer for over 10 years and then was laid off. unemployment only pays a max of about 560 a week. My monthly income on unemployment isn't even 1/2 of what I was making at my job. I have been searching for jobs and had interviews etc., but nothing has panned out yet.

Answer: The state tax will vary depending on the state you are in. It will also depend on amount you plan to encash out of 401k (which will determine your tax bracket), and how many exemptions you can claim. Still, the ballpark figure will be around 7%. (Wisconsin - 7%, Indiana - 3.4%, etc)

I am sure you are aware of the fact that you will lose a LOT of money incase you encash your 401k. Just to summarize, amount encashed from 401k will be treated as income and will determine which tax bracket you fall under. You will lose money on the following four counts:
1. Federal tax (anywhere from 20-28%)
2. State tax (roughly 7%)
3. Early termination Federal penalty (10%)
4. Early termination State penalty (roughly 3%)

So you lose around 40-45% of the amount you cash out. I did some research and found that you can do the following to reduce the impact:
1. Take out a loan on your 401K instead of encashing 401k itself (if your 401k plan allows it)
2. Roll your 401k into IRA
3. Cash out only the bare minimum needed for the year. Roll over the remaining amount to IRA where no tax will be due.
4. Renegotiate your mortgage terms with your bank because of your circumstances. There are many firms too that can help you with it. Plus as per Obama's policy, there is an incentive for the bank to help prevent foreclosure.

I know you are in a tough spot, but hang in there and it will get better. All the best and hope that you find a good job soon. Also, it would be a good idea to consult a tax advisor that can take all your details and guide you better. There are many variables depending on the 401k plan you have, the state you reside in, your age (tax is less if you are above 45, still less if above 59), and the exemptions you can claim based on number of dependents etc.

About to be homeless. What should I do?

2009-09-04T06:36:00.000-07:00

Question: I am about to be homeless again. Not for lack of trying not to be. Just bad times. you know poor economy ect... I have a low self worth, just got out of a bad relenship. Wife was a physo meth queen. need I say more... I am drug free for over a year. But am still having trouble. Just when is enough enough? Money paid on rent runs out on the 14 and I cant seem to find work to make up lowsey &200 owed. So my Q. is what the hell should I do?

Answer: Dear friend, it is clear that times are extremely hard on you. But this is exactly the time when you got to fight back for your way of life. When life gets you down, thats the time when you chin up and say you can't break me.

In your situation, lesser men would have given up by now, but you are still looking for answers! That is really impressive, and shows strength of character. On top of that you have kept yourself drugfree for over an year. You should be proud of yourself. It might seem the darkest of times, but remember that there is no night without a day. Dawn is just around the corner. Believe in yourself and try keeping your confidence up.

There must be a volunteer organization (like United way, or your church etc) near your place. Why don't you register yourself there? They can notify you when any good job comes up matching your qualifications. They might also have services of a doctor or therapist who can help you stay drug free. Many times there is a lot of help available, just that we don't know where to look for it. I am glad that you are trying your best. Please keep it up and God will be with you.

How long it will take for USCIS to approve my petition?

2009-09-03T17:16:00.000-07:00

Question: I file the I-130 petition for my mom and am wondering How long it will take for USCIS to approve my petition?

Answer: In general it would take anywhere from 4-8 years. You can get a more accurate answer from uscis.gov. I am attaching the links. It would basically depend on which center you applied to.

Processing time based on center: https://egov.uscis.gov/cris/processTimesDisplay.do;jsessionid=bcaJoKkurEi26_X1SAcos

Official info to help you: http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis/menuitem.5af9bb95919f35e66f614176543f6d1a/?vgnextoid=88f7703167a9e010VgnVCM1000000ecd190aRCRD&vgnextchannel=a9243529fdb7e010VgnVCM1000000ecd190aRCRD

How do i get wi-fi in my house?

2009-09-03T17:12:00.000-07:00

Question: All you need is a wireless router and just hook it up or what? Do i need to call my internet provider, i have charter.Is there a monthly bill or extra money to my charter bill.

Answer: Depends on what kind of internet you have. If you have Cable internet (eg Comcast) or even DSL (AT&T, Verizon) - then you just need a router. You will have to hook up the router to the modem provided by your internet provider. Then run the router CD in your computer to setup the router. It is pretty simple and there is no additional cost. Only cost is buying the router.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - Book vs the Movie

2009-09-02T09:03:00.001-07:00

Question: What were your thoughts on the movie? And how did you like it based on the book?

Answer: I have read the books, and I loved the movie. And I don't mind a little variance from the book. Eg in novel Harry at climax was under full-body-bind spell. Thats the reason he was not able to help dumbledore - but in movie Harry was free to act but didnt. This implies that he was afraid to act, which cannot be further from truth. Anyways, I loved the movie - specially all the comedy scenes. Ron did a great job!!

I felt they should have devoted more time to Horcrux, and should have set the stage for climax better. Killing Dumbledore was made way too easy. Anyways, this was one of the best HP movies so far!! When a movie is made out of novel, almost always there would be things that individual readers would have liked to see in the movie. Still I think that they did a fair job. I would give movie 8 out of 10.

When should you book a hotel?

2009-08-19T09:07:00.000-07:00

Question: My Bf and I are going to Baltimore, MD in January of 2010. We live in PA, so it'll only take us 2 1/2 hours to get there! When should we plan the trip and book the hotel?

Answer: You should book the hotel well in advance. I would say atleast 2 months in advance. That would give you the best deal. Anyways as you are going in off-season boking even 1 month in advance will work out for you. Most hotels don't charge anything if you cancel with 48 hours notice. So inquire about cancellation policy while booking.

A good site by microsoft is www.farecast.com. It tells you on past trends if prices are going to increase or decrease. They also tell you the probability of price change and recommend if you should buy or hold for better prices!

What happens to a person after he/she dies?

2009-08-15T17:08:00.000-07:00

Question: I believe that most people go to heaven. How about you? The reason I love the idea of heaven is because you can meet your friends and family there. Death becomes less scary if you know you'll see your loved ones again after you die. If people are reincarnated, your loved ones who have died are out there right now as different people who you will never see again.

Answer: Interesting question. I don't believe in heaven and re-incarnation. I think when one is dead, its all over. I am not a scientist, and don't think that science can ever explain things related to God. Yes, I do believe in God, just not in heaven. The concept of heaven is interesting, but I dont think God has created such a place for us. I feel that He wants us to be the best we can be.. To do good deeds, or if not that atleast be satisfied with our life when we die. When the last moment comes and we are happy the way we lived, I think that in itself is heaven.

Why can't I play tennis well anymore?

2009-07-06T00:06:00.000-07:00

Question: The past month at tennis practice has been horrible.I feel so frustrated because I know I can play well but when I'm practicing I can't even get a decent back hand. I think of how

I'm suppose to serve and it comes out suckyish. I played with my dad the other day and he said he's never seen me play so bad. He says I'm thinking negative and that's why I play bad. But I have no idea what's going on with me.My coach gives me tips but no matter how much I want to do what he's telling me, it doesn't come out the way I want it.

I love to play tennis so much. please help.

Answer: Hmm, this looks like a tough one. The fact that you are having problem for a month now suggests that it is not related to form.

I guess you might want to inspect what is happening outside the tennis court. Maybe your mind is not totally focussed on tennis right now. If you are not focussed or are upset for some reason, it can translate to poor performance in tennis.

Another reason might be that something is wrong with your raquet. You may want to check it. Even if nothing is wrong, try to switch the raquet and play few games. It may be more of a psychological thing than actual technique.

Keep yourself focussed, play one point at a time, keep up your physical workouts and KNOW that your game is good. It will start falling into place, just don't give up! Good luck with your game.

Tips to increase your first serve percentage

2009-06-12T11:04:00.000-07:00

Question: Any tips to increase your first serve percentage?

Answer: Tips -->
1. Keep practicing.
2. Give yourself time. Don't rush into the serve.
3. When you toss the ball, toss it a little in front of you. Such that if it drops, it drops nearly 1 foot in front of you. Most people make the mistake of dropping flat up.
4. When you hit the ball while in air, try hitting as high as possible. Depending your height there will be a perfect height where to connect. So when you hit a good serve, think what you did right. Then try to repeat it.
5. Lastly, yes practice some more!

Immigration : Can foreign national go out of US while work permit is in process

2009-06-02T09:00:00.000-07:00

Question: How long does it take to get work permit (EAD) after getting married to a US Citizen ..?? and in that waiting time when the application is in process for EAD can the foreign national travel out of USA?

Answer: Yes, you can go outside US while your EAD/GC is getting processed. But you need to apply for Advance Parole for Travel (form i-131). Once you get approval notice for the same, you can travel. It takes around 4 months to get the EAD and the advance parole. Once you recieve EAD, you should get interview notice for GC in around 4 months.

A close friend applied for EAD and Advance Parole together and got the approval for both. He travelled before getting the GC, and was able to come back without any issues. Also travelling out of US doesn't affect your GC chances. Just try to plan the trip such that interview for GC doesn't fall in between your travel plans.

In need of a good book

2009-05-02T09:03:00.000-07:00

Question: In need of a good book any suggestions? i just finished the perks of being a wallflower and absolutely fell in love with it! I'm not really into the love story girly chick fick type, and i have already read twilight

Answer: Why don't you try 'To kill a mocking bird' by Harper Lee. It is a classic. The book is an easy read, plus it is not very thick! You will find the narrative very interesting and it will keep your attention. BTW, it is not a teenage love story :-). The story is told from point of view of a kid who is very naughty and idolizes her father.

I don't want to give away too much because I don't want to take the book's charm. Believe me, you will love the book. It is one of my all time favorites!